My stomach hurts this morning. It seems a bit of my surroundings leaked in while I slept. Stress is heavy when it takes hold. My eyes, just as dense with the weight of similarity, express their desire for slumber through fog. I’m foggy today. I began this journey over a month ago and am now a weary traveler. Life in spaces that are not mine has added its girth as well.
My bank and I lean on my friendships. I can see their weight and yet they do not break. For that I am forever grateful. I do make wise decisions though financial institutions does not seem like one. It was at one point, seven points ago. My friendships are some of the best decisions I make.
I awoke this morning to additional broken promises. I called ING Direct to inquire. I was put on hold. The weight sat heavy and tears threatened their presence. Apart of me knew I’d been deceived again and I awaited the news. Luckily I now have the means to locate that which is mine and yet that does not assuage. I’ll believe it when I feel it in my shaking hands.
My car, no longer a reliable means to get me to the hooded south, sits in the parking lot within eyeshot. My belongings take up space that is neither theirs nor mine in an apartment where I’ve been for more than 20 days rent free. A squatter. I’ve cooked meals out of love and not obligation. Dined and laughed, without mirth, at the folly of corporations and absurdity of situations. I feel like I should feel like I overstayed my welcome but I don’t. Those are the friendships that I’ve chosen. I have chosen well. I have been chosen as well and it feels good. In my world where abandonment is common-place, betrayal second nature, and disappointment a best friend I have been chosen by kind, loving, genuine people. Good people have chosen to love and care for me. That explains my history. Good people have chosen to love me while bad people have chosen not to.
I am loved by good people.
Corporations are people. Your policies, actions, and inaction hurts people. That’s what this is all about. My bank has yet to acknowledge that I am a person who needed them to deliver and they didn’t. Individuals under their employ drooled phrases from instruction manuals rarely deviating from their scripts. As is common, they hid behind policy designed for all yet applicable to few and further alienating many. We are people. When you have gotten so big that it is impossible for you to acknowledge that important reality perhaps your focus should shift to getting smaller.